still finding faults

I'm either planning meals, thinkibg of other devotees and how they're mad and crazy, and imagining myself up front and center showing the world how bhakti is done.

two neophytes

Pander to each other's egos and praise one another. Thus they become falsely fulfilled. This soon ends though, with a ton of offenses on both sides.

ananda bhakti victim of cupid

eat only to keep body n soul together

Which means, don't eat to please the tongue. I can get pleasure from hearing. So i should take shelter of hearing when the belly is unsettled. Eat just enough to survive.

all the pleasure

All the pleasure that I am seeking can be extracted from srimad bhagavatam from bhakti rasas. But for this, I must be surrendered as a servant of gurydeva and bhagavatam. 

6

Need 6 to Live in Vrndavana

Mahanidhi Madan Gopal Das 

#HowToLiveInVrndavana #LivingInVrndavana 

#VisitingVrndavana #RadhaKrishna #VrndavanaLife #HowToSeeVrndavana #PremaDhama

The great Gaudiyarasikaacarya, Sri Prabodhananda Sarasvati, lived many years in Vrndavana worshiping Sri SriRadha-Govinda. His many deep realizations and intimate nitya-lila visions appear in his wonderful books i.e. Sri Radha Rasa Sudhanidhi. 

Speaking as a realized Vrajabhajananandi saint, Sarasvatipada reveals SIX ATTRIBUTES ONE NEEDS to live in Vrndavana and attain perfection in Radha-Krishna bhakti bhajana. 

If you are living in Vrndavana already, or considering it, then please study these six. Sincerely and repeatedly try to think, feel and see the reality of Vraja vasa through these sublime truths.  

1. “To live in Vrndavana (śrī-vṛndāvanam-āvaset), you must feel that Radha-Muralidhara’s lotus feet are the one and only object of your love, rādhā-muralīdhar-āṅghri-kamala-premaika-mātrīyate.

2. You must think that other’s wives are your mothers, mātrī-yaty-aparāṅganāṁ. 

3. You must think that one who severely rebukes you is your own family member, gotrīyat-yati-tarjan-ādiṣu. 

4. You must think that all moving and nonmoving living entities in Vrndavana are your own good children, sthira-caraṁ-sattvaṁ-su-putrīyate.

5. You must see your envious haters as great friends, mahā-mitrīyate-dveṣiṣu.

6. And you must see your own body as a stranger to you, the eternal soul within, yaḥ-svāṅge-anya-gātrīyate.” (Vrndavana-mahimamrta 8.81)

Sridhama Vrndavana ki jai! Nitya vraja vasa ki jai! 

Radha-Govinda Yugala nitya kunja vilasa seva ki jai! 

Jai Jai Sri Radhe!

use

The only use of anything in this world is if it is used to bring others closer to Krishna.

krishna likes to eat only devotional offerings

He likes even the simplest of things if offered with love

serve those who want to serve

Serve those who have taste for service, not to the ego, but to Krishna.

seva unmukha

There is no other way to get a taste for chanting

artificial austerity

Thus a devotee engaged nicely in devotional service does not have to separately perform austerities.

jealous possesive

Dauji is a jealous and possesive husband. He wanted me all to himself. He was never okay sharing me with anyone, inuding relatives. He never invites anyone home. He never goes out to any events even if he is invited. Anyway, now, he thinks I am mad because I think the earth is flat and telepathy is real. And he thinks I'm Indian. So he sits and complains to me about how India is not the way he'd like it to be.

Tulsi is also jealous and possesive like him. If I give my attention or love to anyone else, they both freak out. Tulsi tries to stop me, and he just becomes more reclusive and withdraws in the hope that I will come and rescue him from loneliness. But as soon as I talk to him, especially about Krishna Consciousness, he just turns into an antagonistic, cynical, critical, she's mad and I wish she'd shut up person. He obviously has no respect for me. And for Maya, it will be very easy for hee to convince me that this is not perfect husband material. But the thing is, there is no such thing as husband material in this world. It's a mental asylum. And so, whatever happens, I need to simply surrender, observe, and do my best to serve according to my position. I don't need to take shit, but I am willing to take it if that's what makes Krishna happy. I'm not perfect wife material either. And it requires two tolerant forgiving people to make a marriage work.

insurance card leela

Because he took her to the dentist, he had her insurance card in his wallet. I searched everywhere for the card, then Krishna showed me the bill of the dentist in his closet. I saw it, asked him if the bill was paid, and he said yes. Then it struck me. Her insurance card was last used at the dentist, so it has to be in his wallet. He asked me for it before the appointment. I realized and got it back. The amount of money spent at the dentist was quite big. More than what he told me he spent. This is another strange thing. Perhaps I am mistaken.

puppet of the wife

Material energy is like the wife of the jiva, who is following her dictations but appears to be her enjoyer.

dependence

I am fully dependent on the mercy of Krishna. I must hear and chant only the name fame form and pastimes of Krishna. This is the only way to restate myself as His servant, reflect His glory. As a particle of his marginal potency, I have the choice of whether to reflect Him, or darkness. I have the choice to be His servant or be falsely independent.

fell from tatastha platform

I fell from marginal platform, and I will remain in the marginal platform. I was never in the spiritual world. I have not fallen from there. Jaya amd Vijaya fell from... I don't understand anymore.

i forgot so quickly

Although I had been given the information by Krishna or Maya, I don't know which, that I could get raped and have a rape child, I was so engrossed with food and what to do about it that I just ignored the impending danger thiinking it might go away. I now realize that I'm being shown, how, if I can't control my tongue, what will I do if my genitals are agitated? And what if I'm trapped somewhere? Only taking shelter of the holy name NOW will help me. If I can't chant helplessly now, how will I chant helplessly when I am cornered? I must give up all bad association and simply focus all my energy on chanting. Day and  night. Because even at night I am being attacked by vicious thoughts.

When will I chant purely? When will I chant helplessly? When will I give up attachments for the wrong things? Kabe habe bolo sei dina amar? 

pleasing materialists

When I ate the pizza cooked by che hi, and told her it was multo buono, I did not realize that unwittingly she had acted as Maya's agent. I was now getting suggestions in my head to just guve up my fight against yeast. But it just smells so bad. I could never use it without being fully repulsed.

compassion

Misled puppets like me must know that Krishna forgives all the misbehavior of those who surender. It is by His grace that misled souls find their health again.

tapasya makes intelligence sharp

Without tapasya mind is confused

battle is

Stay humble

Depend on Holy Name

Control senses

Ignore mind

Listen to Paramatma, Gurudeva, and Acharyas and do that

Refuse need to feel better than others and cut down false ego by refusing to accept bodily identities and designations

Look for service and humility be attracted to that and not to mystical performances or shows of devotion

taking shelter of Holy Name

Faith that the Holy Name will protect me, and taking shelter NOW rather than waiting for calamity is not so easy. The sound of Krishna's Name is all powerful. And I must take shelter NOW. If I am not able to take shelter, then like all those whom I know who succumbed to Maya's plan for hijacking their bhakti, I will fail. I cannot control my tongue in daily life. I will certainly fail to control other senses in times of temptation and desperation. Maya will do the needful and Haranti Prasabham Manah, the senses will pull by force and engage me in sin. This is happening to everyone. Against their desire, they are sinning and implicated. Unless they take shelter, they cannot protect themselves. Draupadi could not protect herself. Nor could Ahilya. Nor could anyone else in history nor will anyone be able to in the future. ONLY KRISHNA CAN GIVE PROTECTION FROM MAYA, His all powerful energy. She is adept, and the infinitesimal jiva, conditioned and bewildered, has no chance or hope to stand before her and face her challenges without grace and help from Krishna.

peanuts = sore throat

disturbing thoughts and dreams

I had a dream that a computer virus ran loose and destroyed my screen display to my utter shock. It was the kind that one encounters while looking for the wrong things online.

I also had disturbing dreams about the soul in the form of my father engaging in degraded sinful acts. It was very disturbing.

Then I got mental and synchronicity messages that I would be raped. Is that a warning from paramatma or a tactic to induce fear by maya or false cupid? Is it cupid or just paramatma translating some thoughts for me?

In any case, I'm being cornered into surrender to Krishna. What do I need to do?

I tried moment by moment surrender, but my understanding is that attraction to sweet tasting food is a distraction from that process. I lost my connection with Gurudeva due to selfish desires to enjoy. How did I fast so many days? And how is it that I cannot fast a single ekadashi? How is it that I cannot take up the vow of poverty? Why is it that I always end up pleasing other materialists and not God?

I lack discrimination. I am trying to plan for my own safety. I cannot follow the instructions to avoid asat sanga. I am affected by dualities. I fear unwanted future scenarios. I desire respect. I cannot give up attraction to the glare of maya.

consult the lord and act accordingly

The bewildered spirit soul, under the influence of the three modes of material nature, thinks himself to be the doer of activities, which are in actuality carried out by nature." Although one follows the dictations of material nature, he happily thinks himself the master or husband of material nature.

SB 6.5.15, Purport: 

The bewildered spirit soul, under the influence of the three modes of material nature, thinks himself to be the doer of activities, which are in actuality carried out by nature." Although one follows the dictations of material nature, he happily thinks himself the master or husband of material nature. Scientists, for example, try to be the masters of material nature, life after life, not caring to understand the Supreme Person, under whose direction everything within this material world is moving. Trying to be the masters of material nature, they are imitation gods who declare to the public that scientific advancement will one day be able to avoid the so-called control of God.

false ego, the real bad dog

I know what to do, and I will

false ego

False ego makes us think, “I'm the best, so my family, caste, religion and everything about me is the best.” This misconception of ‘I and mine,’ is the cause of great wars all over the world today

curse is a blessing and blessings are curses

I may lose my reputation. I may lose my position in society. But like for Suniti, it will be a blessing in disguise.

gassy

Eating too many nuts.

seeing prabhupada in everyone

Maharaj sees His Gurudeva everywhere. He sees him manifesting so many forms.

rajendra

The materialistic person thinks switzerland is better than india.

dictations of evil versus paramatma

When we cone to our senses and humble ourselves, we can begin to resist the wrong dictations.

give up the habit of eating non prasad

sincere desire to serve great souls

Is what Krishna is pleased with and He removes all anarthas.

Service is Shravanam Kirtan Smaran Pada sevan Archan Vandan Dasya Sakhyam Atma Nivedan