prestige?

Is the desire to be famous among my neighbors, to prove to then that I'm not the liser they think I am, driving me to change my external appearance and occupation? Do i want to be more than just a compliant, voluntarily poor housewife? Is my desire to be famous! To be loved and known! Will that fulfill my needs? Will it make me happy?

How is it that Radharani, when Maha Bhava appears, it is then that her desire for personal happiness is burned away?

Is that the death of false ego? Is she trapped in my heart, waiting for Krsna to come and be with her?