Slavery anyway
I figured out that I am either a slave of my senses, or I can become a slave of Hrishikesha. Now whats better of the two? One gives you the illusion of being in control - the other gives you freedom of a completely new kind. I need discipline to be able to meditate everyday and slowly begin surrender.
For that, I need to be fit. And I need determination. I cant say "oh i'd like to be KC someday." I need to have a more passionate resolve than just that.
I am trying to find a short cut - I'm trying to find a solution through technology. I'm looking for a quick meditation tactic. I'm looking for the right time? I keep forgetting why its important. Keep forgetting why I'd decided to do what I had. I can become happy now. I can start living the mission I've been dreaming of. But its not easy. Its full of challenges. Am I up for it? Am I too chicken? Am I afraid of failure?
There is no better time to start than now. I should start now. Its okay even if there are setbacks. I'll learn as I go. Best way to learn is by making mistakes yourself. Thats the only way you'll never repeat them.
My mind is addicted to day dreams that give me some sense of happiness and keep me going. Those dreams have become the source of my joy. I need to get de-addicted from this escapism. I'm just fooling myself with my wishful thinking.
My consciousness - buzzing with songs and dance steps, buzzing with to-do lists, needs purification. I need to have a routine that allows me to exercise my mind's muscles.
For that, I need to be fit. And I need determination. I cant say "oh i'd like to be KC someday." I need to have a more passionate resolve than just that.
I am trying to find a short cut - I'm trying to find a solution through technology. I'm looking for a quick meditation tactic. I'm looking for the right time? I keep forgetting why its important. Keep forgetting why I'd decided to do what I had. I can become happy now. I can start living the mission I've been dreaming of. But its not easy. Its full of challenges. Am I up for it? Am I too chicken? Am I afraid of failure?
There is no better time to start than now. I should start now. Its okay even if there are setbacks. I'll learn as I go. Best way to learn is by making mistakes yourself. Thats the only way you'll never repeat them.
My mind is addicted to day dreams that give me some sense of happiness and keep me going. Those dreams have become the source of my joy. I need to get de-addicted from this escapism. I'm just fooling myself with my wishful thinking.
My consciousness - buzzing with songs and dance steps, buzzing with to-do lists, needs purification. I need to have a routine that allows me to exercise my mind's muscles.
posted by Lotus at 12/08/2011 01:52:00 AM
6 Comments:
Be a slave of your senses..
But make sure that your senseswill remain slave of Hrishikesha..
My dear girl, after reading some of your posts, it appears to me that you are being very violent with yourself. Will and effort are not the way to undertanding. You have to understand the maker of the effort.
For understanding, freedom is essential. So, you need to forget all that you have read, forget all your conclusions. You have to start anew. Most of all don't identify yourself with any ideology, any sect, any image whether of Christ, Krishna, or whatever for all ideas are forms of illusion.
I'm had to write to you because you seemed like a tortured soul from your writings. A tortured mind, a mind that has been shaped, controlled, made to follow can never have the pliability and quickness to perceive what is true.
It is very difficult to establish an absolute truth in a world such as ours. For every theory, there are some assumptions.
The thing is, if you have the proof you need, and if you have the experiences that have you convinced, your faith is unshakable. I'm fine with not being able to prove why I believe what I believe is the truth. Thanks for your comments though :)
I can't expect you to come by again. But what the heck!
Its not about proving anything to anybody. Truth is not a matter of conviction or belief. Belief is changeable cos it is just thought, and thought is impermanent, changing, and limited. In other words, it is just words. And the word is not the real thing. That is why you have to struggle to hold onto it, because in itself it has no subatance, no reality.
I had something to convey, which I have done. It is upto you how you take it. I guess I wont be coming again.
Keep well, my dear.
Look, language has its shortcomings. And I don't know if I can even begin to understand what you mean or why you explained what you did to me.
It's interesting though, to know what you think. Good luck in everything.
I am sure you would have already studied the Bhagavata, but would still like to tell you this.
Please refer to the verses 1.2.16 - 1.2.22
It clearly outlines the process and how one progresses.
We should first start with associating and serving devotees.
When we do this we get interested in Hari Katha, when we regularly study the Bhagavata and serve the devotees, all our faults are destroyed and loving service to the Lord is established.
Don't try to control your senses through artificially, this is not going to be pleasing to you or to Sri Krishna.
Look out for Vaishnavas who you can associate with, go beyond institutional boundaries and look out for shuddha bhaktas, serve them and with their blessings, we will get attraction to the service of Sri Radha Krishna.
Hari nama prabhu will lead us to shuddha bhaktas, so let us pray sincerely to Him.
YS,
JD
Post a Comment
<< Home