Stage of my life

This is the stage of my life that I call "Waiting to exhale."

My self discipline is not too low, but it could get better.

My self worth is up two notches and I'm happy about that.

My reflexes have been faster at other times so I'm hoping to rise up to that level soon.

My breath is shallow 50% of the time - its an improvement over 80%, but I want to do better in delivering fresh oxygen to my body.

I'm slightly aware and it's helpful and fun. The thing is, I know it can be more fun than this.

Having tasted that wonderful period of time - the six months I spent reading Bhagavatam in the united states - all other tastes have become bland. That one taste remains, and a desire to reattain it pushes me on.

However, blocks and discouraged thoughts keep me from working toward my goal.

I understand that when I learn a new lesson, it will take some experiences to completely reverse previous habits. If I can change the pattern I've been following, then I can move on to level two. But it doesn't happen overnight. It takes time, awareness and ambition to grow.

Let me endeavour with patience, do all the required deeds, not hanker for results and thus find that life is continual joy.

Let my inner plant bear flowers and fruits. Let me grow, let me grow, let me grow.