The truth
It's pretty tough, in a world of illusion, and darkness, to find the truth. And believe it!
We all come across the truth I'm sure. But we just give it up as too simple to be the truth. Just can't believe it. And there are so many other lies that we can believe in - that given the option - we're bound to choose lies over the truth. Makes it easier for us. Right? Well, we only think it makes it easier, while it actually makes things worse. But we can never tell - because we forget.
So first of all the truth is not very obvious or apparent. And then even if we do see it, we chance to forget it. How nice. The chances of getting to the truth and staying on are really few and unstable.
There is so much data out there, that we just don't know what to do. There is guilt, moral values, religiosity, and whatnot. And the exact thing that feels good and feels great to you - is supposedly the most harmful thing for you. What? No way. The body reports as feel good, those that are good for you, and bad as those that harm you! But smoking feels good to some people. So...
There is some contradiction here. We're assuming something, and that prevents us from seeing the point. Its the child who is being asked not to indulge too much in sweets to avoid dental cavities. For its own good. But without obvious logic.
Sometimes I find myself doing things I don't want to do - because somehow I believe that its good for me.
And sometimes I do things I want to do. But with a truckload of guilt.
And then I wonder. What purpose does guilt serve. Guilt is a inner voice that scolds you for being bad or naughty and punishes you. In an attempt to stop you from doing something harmful to you or to the collective whole.
So its not just to make you feel bad. Its there to help you. But you can allow it to ruin your living hours.
What should be done? And what should not be done? What causes bondage? What liberates us? What kind of sick game has no option to stop playing when you're done and over with? What kind of cruel fun is it when you're forced to go through things you would rather not? It's pretty dark to be something pre-selected. I'm sure it was not my idea. I would have asked for an obvious Escape button. Sadistic theories.
So... mayavadira bhasha sunila hoye sarva vinash. I have experienced some bliss. Now I want it back. So I'm trying to retrace my path. And on my way I come across something that can check my progress. Obviously I reject it.
The problem is - its now there in the form of a doubt. What if I'm being tricked. What if... the other theory is true? And what if I can get all those blissful things back, without having to compromise so much? Shouldn't I take that path?
Path less taken. Whenever in life you see two paths - there will be one that is easy, and one which is tough. Always choose the tough path. For that will give you the highest happiness. Hmm. Interesting. Blind gamble.
And we say gambling is prohibited. Well, life is a big gamble. So what are you talking about?
And the offenses? Well you know what, no matter how much you try to avoid them - it's obvious that these things will happen to us "oh-so-not-perfect" beings. Its meant to be that way. Offenses are going to happen. But you just try to avoid them. But don't kill yourself if it does happen. Because well - you aren't perfect. And you could use a lot of guidance, but you haven't got a clue how to get guidance you can trust, always, everywhere. (If you did have very clear instructions and the process was easy - it would spoil the game now, wouldn't it?) Gosh. I still dont want to believe the whole game funda.
Maybe it started off as a game. And now we're too far gone. We didn't know that this would happen, and its too late to save the day. So... blast it. Pralaya. All these bloody games end like that. The game ends with a big bang. (smirk)
Oh well, whats really going on? My past experiences confirm some things are valid. You're forced to take rebirth, its not like a wishy-washy - Ummm, I dunno, maybe I dont wanna be born jus yet. Let me rest awhile longer... or give me more options. No. There are some things that are pretty much forced upon you. This place is for rebels, not for some artistic playful types who are tired of being in the light. No. We've not fallen from the light, the story goes way into the past. We've fallen from Vaikuntha. Maybe this is a prep course for that game. I'm sure it doesn't end there. I'm sure its like one game after another. Where the obvious thing is actually not true. Gets tougher. Prep course. Hmm. Pretty macabre though. Because there is the whole thing about pain. What if I killed my intelligence, that distinguished between pleasure and pain and chose one of them for the higher good. What if I killed my mind, and made it stop distinguishing between pleasure and pain? What if the intensity was all that mattered?
Just like Krishna smaran - in enmity or hatred - feels the same to Krishna. He just sees the intensity, doesn't bother about the "good" "bad" part of it.
So kill the mind. Kill its ability to distinguish between pleasure and pain. Just make it long for intensity in either of those two things. ? I'm scared?
We all come across the truth I'm sure. But we just give it up as too simple to be the truth. Just can't believe it. And there are so many other lies that we can believe in - that given the option - we're bound to choose lies over the truth. Makes it easier for us. Right? Well, we only think it makes it easier, while it actually makes things worse. But we can never tell - because we forget.
So first of all the truth is not very obvious or apparent. And then even if we do see it, we chance to forget it. How nice. The chances of getting to the truth and staying on are really few and unstable.
There is so much data out there, that we just don't know what to do. There is guilt, moral values, religiosity, and whatnot. And the exact thing that feels good and feels great to you - is supposedly the most harmful thing for you. What? No way. The body reports as feel good, those that are good for you, and bad as those that harm you! But smoking feels good to some people. So...
There is some contradiction here. We're assuming something, and that prevents us from seeing the point. Its the child who is being asked not to indulge too much in sweets to avoid dental cavities. For its own good. But without obvious logic.
Sometimes I find myself doing things I don't want to do - because somehow I believe that its good for me.
And sometimes I do things I want to do. But with a truckload of guilt.
And then I wonder. What purpose does guilt serve. Guilt is a inner voice that scolds you for being bad or naughty and punishes you. In an attempt to stop you from doing something harmful to you or to the collective whole.
So its not just to make you feel bad. Its there to help you. But you can allow it to ruin your living hours.
What should be done? And what should not be done? What causes bondage? What liberates us? What kind of sick game has no option to stop playing when you're done and over with? What kind of cruel fun is it when you're forced to go through things you would rather not? It's pretty dark to be something pre-selected. I'm sure it was not my idea. I would have asked for an obvious Escape button. Sadistic theories.
So... mayavadira bhasha sunila hoye sarva vinash. I have experienced some bliss. Now I want it back. So I'm trying to retrace my path. And on my way I come across something that can check my progress. Obviously I reject it.
The problem is - its now there in the form of a doubt. What if I'm being tricked. What if... the other theory is true? And what if I can get all those blissful things back, without having to compromise so much? Shouldn't I take that path?
Path less taken. Whenever in life you see two paths - there will be one that is easy, and one which is tough. Always choose the tough path. For that will give you the highest happiness. Hmm. Interesting. Blind gamble.
And we say gambling is prohibited. Well, life is a big gamble. So what are you talking about?
And the offenses? Well you know what, no matter how much you try to avoid them - it's obvious that these things will happen to us "oh-so-not-perfect" beings. Its meant to be that way. Offenses are going to happen. But you just try to avoid them. But don't kill yourself if it does happen. Because well - you aren't perfect. And you could use a lot of guidance, but you haven't got a clue how to get guidance you can trust, always, everywhere. (If you did have very clear instructions and the process was easy - it would spoil the game now, wouldn't it?) Gosh. I still dont want to believe the whole game funda.
Maybe it started off as a game. And now we're too far gone. We didn't know that this would happen, and its too late to save the day. So... blast it. Pralaya. All these bloody games end like that. The game ends with a big bang. (smirk)
Oh well, whats really going on? My past experiences confirm some things are valid. You're forced to take rebirth, its not like a wishy-washy - Ummm, I dunno, maybe I dont wanna be born jus yet. Let me rest awhile longer... or give me more options. No. There are some things that are pretty much forced upon you. This place is for rebels, not for some artistic playful types who are tired of being in the light. No. We've not fallen from the light, the story goes way into the past. We've fallen from Vaikuntha. Maybe this is a prep course for that game. I'm sure it doesn't end there. I'm sure its like one game after another. Where the obvious thing is actually not true. Gets tougher. Prep course. Hmm. Pretty macabre though. Because there is the whole thing about pain. What if I killed my intelligence, that distinguished between pleasure and pain and chose one of them for the higher good. What if I killed my mind, and made it stop distinguishing between pleasure and pain? What if the intensity was all that mattered?
Just like Krishna smaran - in enmity or hatred - feels the same to Krishna. He just sees the intensity, doesn't bother about the "good" "bad" part of it.
So kill the mind. Kill its ability to distinguish between pleasure and pain. Just make it long for intensity in either of those two things. ? I'm scared?
posted by Lotus at 3/25/2009 05:30:00 AM
4 Comments:
Hare Krishna. Thank you for this nice meditation. As long as we keep trying to be Krsna Consciousness, despite so many falldowns, we are successful. The result is in His hands. We just have to spend our lives trying to reach Him. Because when you are trying to be with Krsna, then you are with Him. The choice is ours to follow His instruction or not. We know what His instruction is. We want to follow His instruction, and enter into His past-times more and more. Let us just cherish this desire. We are situated within the material modes. We are engaged in fruitive works, but we are trying to sacrifice the result to Krsna, bit by bit, in any small way possible, as much as possible, while we have this opportunity. May he bless all the Vaisnavas.
Amen
Thank you for your comment Daniel... when being tossed about in the waves of the material ocean, one cannot help but feel slightly despondent. Especially when one hasn't figured out Krishna Consciousness.
Thank you Vyoma. Please excuse my offenses. May Lord Sri Krishna bless you with ever-increasing love and devotion. All glories to the dust at His Lotus Feet.
Daniel, I just wanted to mention that I was talking about myself in the comment - the reason I'm despondent - I hope I was not misunderstood. Anyway, thank you for visiting here again. Wish you peace and joy.
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