Millions of miscarriages

 Since the first time that I started chanting, lust, anger, greed, envy, pride, and illusion are killing my propensity for pure devotional service in total humility and surrender. The enemy of surrender is the false ego, who knows that if Krishna takes birth, He will kill the false ego. So to save itself, the false ego holds on tighter to the anarthas and forces the soul to kill his own devotional aspirations by indulging in greed, anger, lust, pride, envy, and illusion.

Greed for eating, and especially sweet things.

Anger at others for not giving respect and not acting as expected.

Lust to enjoy food, T's face and talking, etc.

Pride in being very good at some skill, knowing scientifically or theoretically more than others, etc.

Envy in berating, criticizing, thinking How Stupid they are! about others, not seeing my own foolishness.

Illusion in thinking, I am this body so I should serve the senses and since it feels so good, how could it be bad or wrong?

I am the hired driver of Krishna's expensive car. He wants me to drive it around for Him, but I am thinking, this is my car and I can do as I like. I can ruin the engine, clog up the machine, and make it unfit to drive. But it's not my car, and if I do that, I will suffer and be punished rightly for making the wrong choices.