visions

I need to chant constantly in humble desperation offering respect to all and keeping krishna in the center of all discussions with vaishnavas. If not, I cannot give up material desires. I need to hear about Krishna from a pure devotee.

I saw visions of how kidnapped women fall in love with their captors. How fallen ive been in past life, so much lust. How i need to reject sense enjoyment. How addicted i am. How unempowered i feel to give it up. How much im eating. And how my decision to just let my tongue guide my life is taking me away ftom humility, from Krishna, and from Gurudeva.