Answers to questions come when we are hungry to hear them. Without that sense of urgency, the answer will not come.

When we are determined to get a phd, it takes moment by moment dedication to that goal to actually get it.

We have to stick to strong sadhana and hear the truth from pure devotees regularly otherwise we will be bewildered.

Knowledge of the modes is good to know, but it is important not to get carried away in researching the modes.

Try to remain in goodness but don't exert too much effort to switch modes. Use them well, in Krishna's service.

Krishna may or may not reciprocate, but it is my duty to surrender and chant in a humble state of servitude, knowing well that I am an expansion of my paramatma, and that I assist my Gurudeva in service to the Divine Couple Sri Sri Radha Krishna. This is my eternal identity. Surrender means, accepting favorable things, rejecting unfavorable things, as indicated by paramatma. The same thing at a different time may become unfavorable. Knowing that Krishna will protect me. Maintain me. Knowing that this body situation etc are all temporary, Knowing that I have no direct relationship with anyone except my gurudeva. Knowing that I must give my all in service to Srila Gurudeva. And humility. Knowing that I am that draupadi who went to the false ego of duryodhana and sat in his lap instead of takig shelter of Krishna. I am that sita who accepted Ravanas proposal instead of taking shelter of Krishna. Now I have another chance to rectify my previous bad choice. And Krishna has promised to stand by me, no matter what my destiny is, karmically. I may be rejected by society, mistreated, misunderstood. But I must tolerate the insults just as if they were praises. Because material world means praise and insult, so I should see both as equal.