Unable to give up offensive chanting

Due to years of habitual mechanical chanting, I find myself unable to give up offensive chanting.

Instead of being vigilant and watching my mind, I simply chant and continue other nonsense, without realizing that I am offending the most merciful form of the Lord, and this Name is my only hope of being rescued.

I have neglected asking my Lord for service. I am not eager to serve Him at each moment, not even when I am chanting. What kind of chanting is that? I want inner guidance to become free from anxiety, but why should I be given such a benediction if I don't want to serve?