Slavery anyway

I figured out that I am either a slave of my senses, or I can become a slave of Hrishikesha. Now whats better of the two? One gives you the illusion of being in control - the other gives you freedom of a completely new kind. I need discipline to be able to meditate everyday and slowly begin surrender.

For that, I need to be fit. And I need determination. I cant say "oh i'd like to be KC someday." I need to have a more passionate resolve than just that.

I am trying to find a short cut - I'm trying to find a solution through technology. I'm looking for a quick meditation tactic. I'm looking for the right time? I keep forgetting why its important. Keep forgetting why I'd decided to do what I had. I can become happy now. I can start living the mission I've been dreaming of. But its not easy. Its full of challenges. Am I up for it? Am I too chicken? Am I afraid of failure?

There is no better time to start than now. I should start now. Its okay even if there are setbacks. I'll learn as I go. Best way to learn is by making mistakes yourself. Thats the only way you'll never repeat them.

My mind is addicted to day dreams that give me some sense of happiness and keep me going. Those dreams have become the source of my joy. I need to get de-addicted from this escapism. I'm just fooling myself with my wishful thinking.

My consciousness - buzzing with songs and dance steps, buzzing with to-do lists, needs purification. I need to have a routine that allows me to exercise my mind's muscles.