I'm always on track

I'm always on the right path. Now I don't even need to confirm, I just know it.

It's so obvious. And even if its not obvious, I have that faith that tells me I'm always on the right path. There is no wrong path. Theres only less time taken to learn, or more time taken to learn a lesson.

Everyone is on the right path. We're all on our way to perfection or Godhead. We've no other direction to go in, no matter what things may seem like.

My perception of the world has changed so much:

1. I used to see everything in terms of perfect and imperfect.

2. I used to enjoy criticizing others to feel good about myself.

3. I used to only see defects in other people.

4. The world was a dark, evil, dangerous and crooked place.

5. I hated most people.

6. I kept telling myself a story of my life. This happened to me, that happened to me.

7. I considered power as outside me. I never recognized that I have power within me.

8. I did not see any connection between physical illness and mental disease.

9. I used to punish and beat myself up for not being perfect.

10. I suppressed my emotions.

11. I thought I was ugly, and did not deserve love.

12. I could not tolerate people with defects.

13. I always judged people and myself very harshly.

14. I felt self-righteous beyond tolerance.

15. I never completely accepted myself or anyone.

16. I was constantly depressed, escaping reality, afraid, anxious and insecure.

17. I could not understand why me?

18. I felt inferior

19. I had no respect for myself, I loathed myself

20. I had several addictions

21. I could never think of giving myself joy

22. I carried around truck loads of resentment and guilt with me

23. I was a doormat

24. I could not negotiate for my gain. I felt powerless.

25. I could not assert myself, could not say no

26. I had no sense of responsibility. I did not take responsibility for my own feelings, but felt responsible for others feelings.

27. I had no sense of ownership of my body, time, energy or money.

...

Let it flow

Life is beautiful.

Even the people who try to harm you are just there for the special effects and learning involved.

I trust nature, I trust the eternal laws, I know what must happen will happen. And I can understand "why" simultaneously. How fortunate that the why is answered. If I did not know why, I would go mad! I wouldn't be able to see the method to the madness.

I am here to learn. I open myself to all my lessons. And I understand that each moment of life is just full of love, full of bliss. I can be in it, if I can hang on to the knowledge of why its all happening.

The seemingly good and bad situations have turned into one solid indivisible absolute category - which is all good in its final purpose.

I can see the Sun shining in through all the occurrences in my life. Whether I have something or I have nothing - let me keep this knowledge forever. That no one can do anything to me. Nothing can harm me. I am eternal, I am life, I am love, I am learning. I cannot be overcome, I cannot stop existing. I am.

All the myriad of circumstances around me are like scenes from a play, a story, a dream. I am full of appreciation. As I face the right things at the right time, I can grow, I can open more fully, and I can bloom.

Let my Lord be pleased with me, let Him keep me aware that His hand is holding mine forever. Let Him keep me aware that no danger can ever befall me. Let me always remember His purpose of teaching me all I need to learn in this life.

Let me not think I am Vyoma. I am not. I have lived many lives. I have seen much, learned much, and yet an infinite remains to be learned. And this process, is joy. The moment to wait for... is not actually as enjoyable, as the journey to that moment.

And when time ceases to exist, I will see all these lives rising and falling simultaneously, forming a large collage of images and concepts.

What will happen tomorrow is something I truly do not know. I cannot anticipate it. I know I don't need to plan it. It will come, and carry me to my destination, slowly.

Let it flow.