Sustainable Intentions versus Practicality

When ecovillage was conceived, the residents were naive and enthusiastic, and had noble intentions. The intention was simply to please the founder. And in my understanding, to please him means to practice the same values as he holds dear.

As time went on though, their enthusiasm turned into comfort and their desire to continue pleasing their founder dampened. In the process of gaining acclaim, the noble intentions with which they had started were corrupted. The initial intention of pleasing the founder turned into ensuring success at any cost to keep the ball rolling.

When I visited EV in 2025, I managed to get a room at Skills Center. Since EV was booked, or rather, blocked for visiting groups (so that foreigners would not have to deal with the low-class crowd), I had to take a bicycle on rent and ride it to and from EV every day. SC was started as an outreach and to appear altruistic. In the opinion of the in-charge, villagers needed to remain in the village instead of migrating to the city for jobs.

On the Republic Day of India, I heard a loud speech given by the CEO of SC, impressing upon the students the need to serve their country and countrymen. I was aghast. The founder would not be happy about that. SC was simple piety, not pure devotional service. There was a photograph of the founder along with a deity of Ganesh in the main hall of the college. After I spoke to the CEO about how the soul does not belong to any country and that students would be confused about why they worship a foreigner if they're supposed to worship their country and consider as their own only their countrymen, the photograph disappeared from the hall.

I overheard a call from someone at EV requesting SC to supply their goods, but since the price the person at SC gave was not agreeable, the person from EV decided to approach another source. SC has already cut-off connections with EV to get money from outside contracts (they bought a machine for cooking chiwda). The students are to compulsorily perform seva at each main festival because there is a lack of manpower and the festival attracts too many people. The students are not asked whether they would like to volunteer out of love or gratitude. It is forced upon them.

If I were a student at SC, I might like kirtan, but I would avoid EV and everything connected with it. However, there are no systems in place to teach interested students how to play kirtan. A hall for kirtan was only recently allocated when I visited (3 years into the making of this college). The visiting preachers preach and claim that only 3% of the students are actually interested in Krishna Consciousness. The founder wanted Saraswati, Lakshmi, and Ganga? to be represented and considered the college project as Saraswati. However, when he visited SC he was obviously displeased. The college would never please anyone in the parampara. Krishna is not in the center. Work is worship is their motto. They are getting a lot of financial success through external contracts and are investing much of their money into buying machines to automate the manufacturing of these items. There is a vegetable garden, but the original intention of returning to the land is forgotten completely. The machines are more important than the land.

Meanwhile, at EV, flower pluckers are hired from nearby villages because there is no time to pluck flowers and people need to be paid to do it. What happened to the ideal that devotional service is a privilege, not a job? The flowers have gnats and it hurts to pluck them, but the women are not given shears nor is the pest problem resolvable. Thus, the girl who plucks these flowers has simply gotten used to having her fingers sharply pricked every time she tries to pluck the infested flowers.

The only service that can't be outsourced is cooking for the temple. Therefore, any initiated devotee that happens to express a desire to serve is immediately sent for kitchen duties, regardless of their preferences. The vision of ev claims ev has been created to facilitate devotees by encouraging them in the way that they want to serve. When I volunteered, I was allowed select plucking flowers initially. At the last moment, half an hour before my seva, there was a kitchen emergency: "no one to cook today, dear." "Please do this seva, it's a request." A request? Oh, great, I can refuse a request. I'd rather pluck flowers. When I refused, I was chastised and a message was broadcast on the group chat "Volunteers are not expected to use their own discretion and must do the seva they have been allocated." After explaining to me at a meeting that initiated devotees are never offered flower-plucking seva, I was convinced to please get on with the program and do as told. However, I was not supposed to cook since I did not have second initiation. So I was cutting vegetables while seven ladies in the tiny kitchen went about fussing over malpuas and kheer. Seven.

Another volunteer wanted to go for kirtan seva and was told, "Sure, it just won't count towards your minimum six hours of seva per day."

When I questioned the in-charge about why I was given the idea that I could pluck flowers on the first day and later told that this seva is not given to initiated devotees, I was given the response that I ask too many questions and that I have two days to pack up and leave EV because the in-charge does not have time and energy to deal with people like me. Later they wrote to me that "for any personal matters I am there for you. You can confide in me. But you have to understand that being a part of an institution, I have to convey some messages to you for institutional reasons. Don't mind. Nothing personal."

Before I filled out the volunteering form, I was in another can of worms. More narcissistic pathological lying was going on while I did that seva. And worse types of manipulations were underway. Nasty comments to discourage me from any genuine empathy were used to kill my spirit of bhakti and put doubts into my head and humiliate me. My escape from that oven was, however, straight into the stove.

The only reason I lasted in the oven for two months (oven in the sense that my heart and bhakti were constantly under attack) is because I was able to collect some tiny gems and precious stones of memories during my seva. I will cherish them to death. Beyond death if I can remember them. Some of the most beautiful, poignant moments of my life thus far occurred there.

Coming back to the scene at ev. Security guards wear thick uniforms that make it unbearable to serve in the heat. The noise and dust from the temple construction (new roof because the old one was leaking every monsoon?) makes them sick. If they report skin rashes they are given odomos. And if they complain of headaches, they are asked to take painkillers instead of being given noise-protection gear.

The mood at EV is driven by narcissistic ideals. Pursue external success in the name of devotion, neglect the spiritual lives of the low-wage workers by simply feeding them prasad and not asking after their welfare, don't care about anyone or their preferences. Be practical to the extent that it ensures that devotees are not served in the way the founder would be happy. Serve in a way that would appease greed for position and power and then call that devotional service and trying to please the founder. Feed the visiting students horrible, tasteless cookies for free because the stock needs to be gotten rid of. Don't buy vegan protein bars and force them to buy up remaining stock instead, because they will crumble under pressure and buy the non-vegan ones. Of course, supply vegan desserts at a good price to have a fitting give-and-take relationship.

During the abhishek on the festival of the birthday of the giver of unprecedented mercy to those who least qualified, the foreigners were allowed to stand in line for abhishek for a good fifteen minutes, only to be informed at the end that they couldn't do abhishek because they weren't freshly bathed and in saris. The giver of mercy to the most fallen was suddenly not okay with the clothes and cleanliness of the fallen people who needed mercy? No notice board was put up. I ran to rescue a British student who was well into her fifties. I yelled "wait" and tried to plead with the hand-wash seva lady to please let them do abhishek. And she refused. She said we have orders. I said, "but they will feel bad." The noise from the speakers was loud and I had to yell to be heard. A seasoned resident walked by and said to me, "these are rules made by management. They can't be allowed to participate. They can watch. Who told them to stand in line? It was never announced that they can participate or that they should stand in the line." So mean. And she thought it was perfectly alright to be callous to others' emotions. The British lady told me "I've been treated like this before. I went to a temple in South India, and they treated me like a dog." When I told the resident about this she said "who told you to go and ask her for feedback? We have never received such negative feedback." And I said, "that's because they're gratitude people." Wrong grammatically, but I had, hopefully, the right heart location. The reason you never received negative feedback is that you avoided asking for it. You avoided asking the front-liners and just spoke to management on the last day.

The incident where I told a lady asking me about buying kanthi malas for friends the truth about who can wear them: I was insulted and chastised and asked to apologize. No one had the courage to be honest with that lady. And I was told not to be fanatical and to zip up. Preach to the shop cashier, not to guests. I was also ridiculed "she's crazy, she told the woman Tulsi is blessing you and going with you."

I was ridiculed on many occasions just for being me. For being honest. For expressing my faith. For holding on to my values. For having the courage to walk up to the founder and ask him what he thinks of the abhishek restrictions. The in-charge asked me "shall we go and ask the founder whether they should be allowed to perform abhishek?" "Yes, let's go," I said. "She's saying yes, she's very risky," said the in-charge to those listening to us.

I saw the vision and mission statements and loved them. But they're just words on the wall until people decide to pull those words into their hearts and act on them.

The heart of EV is missing. It is a heartless place. And I don't know how all continue to be there and how they watch all of this and let it go on. Why? The employee turnover is dismal despite high salaries. When are they going to wake up? They're too intoxicated with their own success. The visiting groups don't make it easy because they slap and lather on praise like nobody's business. But I see a crumbling empire. I see doom. They're not consulting the founder. They made an Indian-style old age home construction and the founder said "if you want me to surrender, I will. But this design is not right for my Godbrothers and Godsisters." They could have shown the blueprint. Now the construction is almost complete and it is too late.

And if anyone has even a fraction of common-sense, they will sense and sniff out the sewage of narcissistic sweet-talk. If that happens, they'll switch to another place. And that, that will be the end of EV. Maharaja's disciples may continue visiting, but they'll catch on in time. Unless they're too blind. And as soon as the money stops, they will have to fire the extras. Residents will resume plucking flowers, I guess. And brahmin-initiated devotees will be called to come and stay at EV to cook all those malpuas with kheer. The desperate attempts to save the sinking ship will make the interactions among residents uglier. And soon, their next best audience, aka Indians, will be given the VIP treatment reserved for foreigners. Garlands on arrival, package deals, access to the innermost areas of the residential area, and arati perks. Indians will proceed to trash the place throughout the year instead of for only six months. And when the employees sense that the ship is sinking, they will do what they've been trained to do: be practical.

Does that make me happy? Am I rejoicing in the debacle? Do I want them to fail? Do I wish them all well? What can I do to serve in the best way possible to please Krishna in this situation. What would the founder do?

Prabhupada would praise someone else who is doing it right. He had said, "Yamuna, you have so many nice saris and your tilak is so nice," in front of the devotee with the unwashed japa bag, sloppy clothes, and no tilak. He would never tell the person to his face. His example was, chastise the daughter in front of the daughter-in-law.

So another ecovillage? 

Thank you for everything Krishna. For letting me know that others may not know what I know. For giving me a reason to live. For being there to protect me. For everything. All your mercy. Your faith in me, or rather, your faith that I will mess things up unless I'm properly trained. And your limitless mercy upon me. I am nothing without you. Please let me remain genuine. Let my intentions be sustainable. May I stay on the battlefield when others run away. May I please you always. May you be on my mind, every moment that I breathe. May my thoughts, words, and actions please you. May you guide me constantly, and bring me great joy by doing so. May I never hanker for anything except your mercy. May my faith in you never waver. Please bless me.