still making plans to enjoy senses

Checking recipes again. After knowing that all sense enjoyment is meant to implicate, addict, and torture the victim, I am still making such plans. I should neglect the mind. Guror avagya. I should bathe after naps. I am naradhama. I am not surrendering to Krishna. I know I should. I know how to do it. And I am so sick that I just don't want to.