I was so wrong the whole time

Misconceptions can be very convincing to believe as true.

I thought that one person was being too critical of two other persons. It was actually me later on who accused them of being unsurrendered and presumptuous about being able to give advice to others, becoming wary of the idea to do programs with lectures. You want to give lectures? I don´t think people who request that they be allowed to speak are likely to be humble. Not getting along with other vaishnavas was a red flag for me.

But initially this person had pointed out that the seminar was telling people what to do, and this is wrong. No one should take an upper position and assume supposed superiority. Later he questioned my accusation saying, how can you be sure that they are not surrendered? Which also makes sense. Everyone is surrendering to Krishna in their own way.

Also about the woman I called a hexe. Whom I wished so much bad upon. She was just doing her job. Yes, in some ways she was a bit close-minded and stubborn. But in the end, I assumed way too much, thinking her to be evil for forcing me to take another test although my first test was already perfect. I didn´t realize that this is standard procedure. And then I don´t know why the assistant asked me to wait for the next appt to collect my results and control papers. I really wanted them now, why was she asking me to take them later? Too much effort needed to post them? Money issues? No time? I don´t know.

But my inability to give them a benefit of doubt was my failure. I was wrong in both situations. And circumstances later forced me to change my judgment. In one case I was swayed by feelings of complete awe and reverence. In the other case I was swayed by a complete distrust and suspicion of the character of the person. And the truth turned out to be, that me getting too impressed too quickly was a mistake. And me thinking the other to be evil too hastily was also a mistake. In both cases I was about to make a life changing decision. I hope I can be more careful and surrender my intelligence to Krsna next time, so that Paramatma in my heart can help me avoid making incorrect and harmful judgments.

In these cases, when I chanted sincerely and asked for guidance and in one case I said, I surrender my intelligence to you, at that time, Paramatma reciprocated by giving me the intelligence to think in a certain way and then arrive to conclusions myself, without anyone having to advise me. I found an article online which disproved my whole theory of a conspiracy against me, that I was being forced to give blood for nothing. Thankfully my email had no complaints, and only a refusal followed by let us see what the next hebamme recommends. Which was better than what I was about to do - complain, defame, make a switch to another place to birth, etc.